Posts tagged Holidays

Happy New Year’s!

In a few short hours another year will have gone by and a new will begin.  And at this time many are making promises that they make every year of what they want to do in the next year.  Wither it be lose weight, workout more or even keep the house clean more.  And while many will not keep their promises in the next year some will.

For me I will not be will not be listing such promises or making them because well every year and every day I try to better myself and I will admit this year I haven’t made some great choices in how I handle myself, things I have said or done.  Now I could sit here and say will I had post pardon depression and then depression after I nearly killed my children in a roll over but fact is every day someone is dealing with those things and I am grateful that I have worked through them.

But then again I was very lucky in the fact I have a great husband who supported me and fish oil other wise I would have had to find a doctor and see help.  I am glad that there was a natural thing to take to help me out.  With all that said I am glad that there is a new year around the corner.  I look forward to all the many many many great things that will come.  From my children reaching mile stones to my husband healing, he has a neck injury from war that needs healing.

I also look forward in the next year to starting my schooling.  I have decided on natural medicine to study.  As to were this can lead for a career I am not really sure to be honest but I know that it will help me become a better mother and that I love.

So I didn’t get my blessing jar made yet I want to do that on the first day of the new year I think that’s more important it will be a great way to start the year of and it will be positive and I know my oldest will love it.  I did do my revitalizing my spirit in getting ready for the new year and I will do it again in the morning after I wake and just start not only the say and the year off with a good foot.

I am hoping that I can find time tomorrow to meditate and carve that time into everyday as well.  I really need to do that more often I am hoping to contact and speak with my spirit guide and I also hope to start looking into Astral Travel soon as well but I need to start with one thing at a time.

I have so much that I want to get done this year it’s crazy and yet I am not promising to do them as I know they will be done because it’s just the path we are all on.  Mr Spirit will be looking for a church soon I personally think he knows which one he will love but he wants to talk with the pastor some more.  He is afraid of them not accepting our marriage and me with my faith.  And he says he doesn’t need a church to talk and have a relationship with god.  Which I agree with him but I know it’s important to him.  He won’t tell me but I know he misses it.  I want him to have that again.  And if that means I get my butt up early and head off to church early on sunday morning and load the baby up and sit next to him well then that’s what I will do.

But he would do it for me in a heart beat as well, I love that we can support each other so well.

Ok on to something different and because I don’t want to make many posts and I know that many are not reading this anyways….

Mr Spirit found out more about his neck injury and well I know he will be fine I don’t know how but I know he will be.  I still worry, I worry if he needs surgery I worry because he is dealing with this and dealing with PTSD and that’s just a lot.  Mostly I worry because he doesn’t feel right sharing with me, he doesn’t want me to know the things he has seen and done in war and he is afraid I am not going to be able to handle it.  And while I know I can I respect that he doesn’t want to share it and I am just grateful he is talking to someone about it.

Also the doc he saw earlier this week gave him meds for is neck but they also fix the shaking in his hands.  My dear sweet husband’s hands have aways shook the whole time he’s been alive and this whole time no one has told him he didn’t have to live this way.  He had a fear of holding our newborns because of the shaking and because he was afraid of dropping them because of it.  But he has been given that all back and while we don’t have a new-born and I don’t know if we will have another child I do know that it will take time for him to get used to it.

So with that I live the past in the past and I look forward to a great and wonderful new year full of hopes and dreams.  Full of healing and just everything that is good.  I look forward to school and I look forward to my watch my children this coming year.

Happy New Year’s Everyone!



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Quick update 12.27.09

Well things are pretty much back to normal the kids love their toys and a low tech Christmas worked out great! Autumn loves her toys as well. We have some new ideas for what to do next year and we know we only have another year or so with Mr A and Santa and I hope to enjoy them.

Mr R was great though in how happy he was it was great listening to him go Santa came over and over. It was great.

Other than that it’s been nice, I need more sleep but Mr. Spirit is helping a ton. He has cooked and cleaned and wiped butts for me. Man I am lucky.

I have spent time researching all kinds of things. But I have my New Years plans made mostly.

We are going to order Pizza and have root beer floats and movies and games. These are the family plans my spiritual plans are I am going to make a blessing jar for the home for the up coming yearn and do a spiritual cleansing for the new year as well.

Now for the full moon which happens to be a blue moon I don’t know what I am going to yet maybe something simple that is in my everyday life.

My spiritual path is leading me in new places the last few days I have read and learned how wonderful it is to have a period and I should be proud and not ashamed of it. I plan to research this more and pass it on to my daughter. I have also found some blessings I want to do I will post about them once I do them and share how they went.

Also in the last few days i have been talking with other people about astral travel and orbs. I have learned I want to learn more about both and have learned that what I believe when it comes to orbs has brought me closer to a christian friend.

Well that’s about it for now I am sure I will be back later tonight while I don’t have children needing me.


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Merry Christmas!

Just a quick post to say

Merry Christmas

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Christmas Eve Eve

Well that’s what I called the 23rd when I was a child and what my son called it today.  Today is one of those days that’s just right.  Started with a nice warm bath. And a quick trip to town.  I was dreading the trip to town because I thought it would be crazy busy and crazy busy at walmart.  Well it wasn’t made a change to the menu for Christmas as Mr. Spirit was walking by the hams and was like I want on LOL.  So we are having ham.

So then we got home and we played games and popped popcorn and just enjoyed each other.  It was great.  I wish it was cooler because it doesn’t feel like Christmas time out there yet.  And tomorrow looks to be a nice day with a few things that will have to be done.

I have been lazy and not finished wrapping gifts.  And Mr. Spirit needs to run to the PO because they didn’t do their job and try and deliver something.  And later tonight I should be getting the last of the kids gifts from Sears.  I have to say thank you to them again for their gift card program for the military it has been such a blessing this year.  I don’t think I could ask for a better break from the normal grind it’s nice to have Mr.Spirit home.



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Ahh…a normal day

Ahh…back to normal.

Yesterday evening was fun I didn’t do all that I wanted to do for the holiday but we made memories so that was what was important.

We made play dough and boy was it fun but the first batch messy.  We used this recipe, but we used KoolAid instead of food coloring for 2 batches of playdough and they were the ones that turned out the best! The ones we made with food coloring turned out sticky I am hoping once they get some more air and played with they will get better.  If not we will make some more.  I suggest everyone do this with there children.

Also Mr. Spirit and I each read them a story for yule and the oldest loved it.  Mr. R my middle child is just to hyper to sit still through a story.  He went from a quite baby to a wild child LOL.  Miss A well she didn’t care she had a belly ache.

We ended up giving each child a gift for yule because they couldn’t play with the play dough (it needed to cool) and Mr. A got a book Peter Pan.  He is hoping to finish it before going back to school.  Mr R got a doodle thing And Miss A got a book.  I like that these are the books we picked from the as these were gifts that were blessings to us.  The books from Mr. Spirits work and toy was a gift bought with a gift card.  It’s just wonderful.

And yesterday UPS droped off a box from my father and mother, they have went to build a bear and made Miss A a bear on her birthday.  And well this touched me so much that I cried and I am tearing up writing this.  My dad got me a bear and I loved it and it had the same birthday as me.  And the fact he remembers how special this bear is to me (I still have it) and not only got one for my daughter but made her one is just well I don’t have words for it.

So over all while some things I wish I had done I am over all happy with how it went some things will change for next year.

Now that we are back to a semi normal day.  Well as normal as can be with Christmas around the corner. I think I am going to research some about finding my spirit guide.  I have done this research in the past but it’s been years and I have mommy brain and need a refresher. With Mr. Spirit home I am hopeing to get some time to relax and mediate as well.

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Merry Blessed Winter Solstice Everyone


Ahh so the day is here and my plans are set as soon as Mr. Spirit gets back I will be making play dough for the kids and we will color a few pictures for a dear friend of mine. and then I will start dinner. We are having a yummy pork roast and mac and cheese and veggies. Simple I know but that’s how I feel it should be. We are then going to sing some of the yule songs I have posted.

And then I think I will tell the kids about a couple different Yule stories

We have the Yule Fairies and this one.

First Yule

Once upon a time, long long ago, a beautiful young woman lived on a blue and green island. She had many friends on the island, fairies, trees, flowers, rabbits, deer and birds… but she was the only person who lived there.

She wanted to share her friends and her secrets with other people just like her, so she began to give birth. Every month when the moon was hiding, she gave birth. For the first six moons she gave birth to daughters with dark skin and eyes. For the last six moons of the year she gave birth to fair skinned daughters. On the seventh moon of every year the First Mother gave birth to a magical, sacred oak tree.

As the years turned many many daughters were born, and quite a few oak trees as well. The daughters played games with the animals and each other; they climbed in the branches of the oak trees and gathered flowers with the fairies.

One day the firstborn daughter of the First Mother gave birth herself! The First Mother was very proud and happy; her favorite friend Oak tree (who was very wise) gave her a silver crown to wear and told her that she was now a GrandMother!

Soon, many of the daughters gave birth, and the island became an even happier place, full of babies and big girls and Mommies who all played together with the animals the trees and the fairies.

One winter night when the moon was hiding, one of the daughters gave birth to a baby that was different from anything they had ever known. It was not a daughter, it was not even an oak tree, and it was a baby BOY!

It was a very dark cold night, the longest winter’s night of the year, so all the daughters and all the animals were snuggled up together to keep cozy and warm. After their excitement of seeing a brand-new baby born passed, the daughters and the animals realized that the baby boy was not feeling well. He was not as strong or as warm as the babies and trees that were usually born on the island. They all began to worry about the new baby, and tried to help keep him warm. The animals with the furriest coats pushed up close to the Mother and baby, the fairies sprinkled magic dust above him, and the little girls sang wonderful songs and danced around and around the room.

But the baby boy couldn’t get warm enough and soon he was too cold and tired even to cry or to drink the healing milk from his Mother.

The first Grandmother was so afraid for the baby boy! She tried to hide her tears from her daughters and ran out into the forest. The snow was very deep and full of white glitter, She tried to walk, but it was just too deep. So her friend the owl carried her up above the snow filled clouds, deep into the magic forest where her firstborn, most sacred wise friend Oak lived. The First GrandMother intended to ask Her friend for advice about the baby boy.

When the owl reached the clearing where the Sacred First Oak tree lived, the GrandMother gasped! There was no snow on the ground there, and in the middle of a perfect circle lay her Friend the Oak. The Tree had fallen to the ground and broken into a pile of logs and branches. She rushed to kneel beside the broken tree, and her teardrops turned into sparkling icicles on her cheeks.

While she was trying to understand what had happened to her dear friend, a coyote entered the circle and brushed up beside her. First the coyote kissed her tears dry, and then she whispered a secret in the First GrandMothers ear.

The GrandMother nodded, and with the help of the coyote and the owl She gathered some of the branches from her oldest friend Oak and they returned to her daughter and the baby boy.

Using the gifts from the Oak, and the secrets from the coyote, the GrandMother built the very first fire that anyone on the blue and green island had ever seen!

The fairies were shocked; they had never seen anything dance like that without wings! The animals laughed, they had never seen colors so bright except on springtime flowers. The daughters didn’t know WHAT to do; they had never felt anything as warm as the summer sand on the beach in the middle of winter!

The Mother brought the baby boy close to the edge of the fire, closer than everyone else (they were still just a little bit scared of this new thing called a fire). The baby boy opened his eyes just a little bit, and began to wiggle his fingers. THEN he smiled and moved his toes too. When he was warm enough he snuggled with his Mother and drank her milk, soon every one was certain the baby boy would be okay. They were all so happy they danced around the fire singing their favorite special songs and giving little gifts to the fire.

The baby boy grew up strong and happy because of the gift of the First Oak tree. He had many sons of his own, and taught them all to plant acorns on the 7th dark moon of the year so that there would always be many many Oak trees on the island.

Every winter, on the longest coldest darkest night of the year, all the people who lived on the blue and green island built a very special fire. They brought in a special tree and honored it with shiny ornaments and glittery fairy dust. They picked one very special branch or log and sang their favorite songs while they decorated it. Then they would give this beautiful log to the Fire as a present… and all the children would hear the story of the gift of the First Oak tree.

On the longest night of the year, whenever you light a candle or build a fire, remember the story of the First GrandMother and the coyote who told her the secret. No matter how cold and dark it seems, the Sun will always be reborn and bring us warmth and light again.


I love the above story it’s so sweet and touching all at the same time.

Though this holiday hasn’t gone as planed I am still having some great memories with the children.  I do wish that Mr. Spirit and the kids would take it like they take Christmas.  It’s important to me and they see it as another day. Or Christmas light.  I want it to be special even if they don’t have the faith behind it, it can be fun and full of memories, right?

I am hoping to get some neat sun set pics and maybe then some great sun rise pics.

Here’s to hoping Mr. Spirit gets home soon!

Merry Blessed Winter Solstice,


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It’s the memories

It’s the memories…I need to keep telling myself this and stop getting sucked into the need to give my children everything and feeling bad because they don’t get as much as the other kids. Fact is they get what they need and we made great memories tonight and we have plans to make more.

This has always been my goal as a mother but yet I feel like a failure because I don’t give them the newest and the best of everything when it first comes out.

I have this thing lately of simplifying and getting low tech toys for the children. And well I love it. My father got Mr. A legos for his birthday and him and Mr. Spirit sat and played with them for hours. Mr. A still plays with them for hours alone. Mr R is happy with a box and he is four and all he wants to do is make memories.

So as I get ready to head to bed yet again I remind myself that with yule and christmas around the corner that it’s the gifts that matter and it doesn’t matter if I give them tomorrow or christmas the but memories they make.

I hope that tomorrow that the boys will love making the play dough and playing with it. I look forward to making it with them. Something so simple.

Be Blessed,

PS I am not proof reading this nor did I proof read the other post I will do them tomorrow when my brain is fully working.

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What a day today was.

First is started out with the whole house sleeping in. This was great. And then we put up the tree and the kids just loved it. To be honest it was a veg day here after the tree went up.

I watch Julie and Julia today I have to say I liked the parts with Julia Child’s more than they other parts and wish they would do a movie on her or had made them longer.

I was left wondering if Julia Child’s really didn’t like Julie though?

Mr. Spirit cooked dinner tonight that was such a nice treat I love when he does things like that. We had eggs and bacon. Kids just loved it. And then we went to look at all the holiday lights. I so love doing that I remember doing it as a child and it was important we did it. Well to me it was. Though sadly here they don’t do them like they do back home. But then it might be a sign of the times or the military town.


While we were driving Mr. Spirit told me of a friend and some ghost problems he was having it made me want to go to his friend’s house so bad to see for myself. So we are. Mr. Spirit is going to call him and are going to go one night and have a mini ghost hunt. I really look forward to it. I am also going to look for a few blessings for the house as well.

What he believes is happening is he believes their home is built on some land that belonged to Native Americans and he believes he found out about a murder there as well. But his big fear is that something followed him home from the middle east during the last deployment.

He has already been blessed himself by some women in the next town that have a shop. From what I know of these women he is in great hands. But he smudged the house and things are still the same he can’t even walk in his house while it’s dark at all. Also I guess that what ever this entity is that it’s pulling the blankets off of them while they sleep and affecting his wife the most.

I find this scary and something I want to look into as well.

Tonight we drove by the house where his friend lived and there is an area near that home that gives me a bad vibe I don’t know what it is but I know that it’s something which bad mojo. I hope we can help them.

And Mr. Spirit and I were talking again about him finding his spiritual home and I found out that he is worried about fitting in. I worry for him. I want him to be happy with his faith and he is but he is also not sure anymore and I am afraid that is my fault. When we got married he was on this on path and was so sure of it. He says that it’s not my fault and that it’s from life deployments and talking to be and a little from me. We both tend to rub off on each other though. I just hope he is happy. I have some research that I am going to do for him and I just hope that it helps.

It’s late I am signing off for the night.

Blessing to all,

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9 Years ago today

I can not believe that nine years ago today, my oldest was born.  I was a young mom I didn’t know much and I am shocked at the things I have learned since then.  I really am.  Nine years ago today I work up to my water breaking calling his father and having him come get me to take me to the hospital.  I remember that it.  I was cold and snowing.  Snowing so much that Mr. A’s grandparents came and got his father and I to drive us to the hospital.  I had my over night bag packed and it was pregnancy clothes I thought I would really fit into them after having him.

I know now looking back I knew so very little about child-birth.  Once at the hospital my mother was there and a dear friend Miss J.  Miss J couldn’t stay long and had to head to work but my mom was there for the whole thing and so were Mr. A’s grandparents.

I knew even then though I didn’t know much that I wanted a midwife. To me at that age it seemed to be a magical thing to have someone not a doc but trained to deliver your baby.  To me it was old school it was special and the bonus was that they had the top obgyn in the area that they worked under.

My midwife Mrs. L was great I remember her warmth and her sweetness to this day.  She was there with me through most of it even though she delivered three other babies that day.  She was great with understanding I didn’t want pain meds and never once pushed them.  She got out so many things out for me to try.  I loved the shower and I would have had a water birth if it was for the pit.  But unlike other hospitals (like where I had Mr. R) she let me walk and move as far as the cords would let me. Which was great because laying and sitting hurt.

Another special person who was at the birth of my oldest was my grandmother.  How I love that woman.  She came after work with a love for me to hold when the pain was bad.  She held my hand and told me I was a strong woman and I could do this.  I love her.

So Nine years ago today after 12.5 hours or labor 3 of which was pushing I gave birth to my sweet little boy Mr. A boy was he loved and still is.  He took to nursing like a champ his grandfather who waited outside the door the whole time cried his daddy cried to.  He is still so love.  It might not have been 100% the birth I want now but it was great at the time and one of the best I have had.

So here Nine years later and so much has changed, I am married to Mr. A’s step dad things didn’t work out with his father.  I am living in another state and I have two more beautiful children.

This morning I woke up to my middle child saying we must sign happy birthday to Mr. A we have to mommy.  I love that even though they are nearly 5 years apart in age that they love each other so.  I know that Mr. A came to me at the right time in my life, I know he choose me as a mother and I am blessed to be his mom we have been through some tough times but we have only gotten closer because of it.

Mr. A is nine and already a spiritual child.  He is always asking about religion and God. I don’t know how much is from Mr. A’s bio dad taking him to church or is just from wanting to know.  He loves learning from the book of God (what he calls the bible) and then hearing what I believe and hearing stories I believe to be true.

He looks forward to the Solstice every year and learning what it’s about and what new thing I have learned.  I haven’t had him do any rituals or anything but I do share with him.  I often wonder if he feels the magic this time of the year since he was born so close to the Solstice.  I also wonder what kind of man he will be in 10 years.  I wonder if he will go to college and be one of the many things he wants to be.  I wonder and yet I can wait because these nine have gone by so utterly fast.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!


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Have you ever…

Read a story that you just wish you were a part of?  I just read this story off of   That moved me.  It was a woman’s memory of getting honey and making candles with her great-grandmother and her aunts.  And while reading this story in brought up memories of ice candles that I made at church camp once and how much fun it was.  It also brought up memories of time I have spent with my grandmother.

There were winters of getting the house reading for the holidays and helping her with the trees and helping her cook for the meal.  Helping her cook was no is one of my most favorite memories.

I remember Christmas evenings at her house watching movies on that old floral couch and with the lamps on that really gave room a candle glow.  This story re enforced my beliefs that it’s not the toys that children remember but the time with our families and the little things.

I loved the holidays with my family and just wish and hope that in my time as a mother and a wife I can make those kind of memories for  my family.  I want them to look back and remember smells of family meals being cooked and the simple things we did to make the holiday special. Like the plastic candy garland on grams tree.  Or the tree mom would have to do more than once until she loved it.  Or shopping with my father at the last-minute to pick out gifts and wrap them for him. And loving unwrapping things he wrapped with a ton of tape.  But you see to me it’s not about what was under the wrappings it was the time and love he took to find the right gift and the time he took to wrap them.

I see the world today and I see many that have forgotten the simple things and the little things.  When Mr. A (my oldest) came to me this year and told me that gifts weren’t what we needed for the holidays and that he was just glad that Daddy was home told me that he is learning what these holidays are truly about.

So as Christmas and the Solstice near remember it’s not about the gifts or what’s under the tree but the memories that are made the magic that share and the love. Because with out these they holidays wouldn’t be special.


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