Archive for family

I am Anti Anti aging or in other words pro aging

I am tired of all the anti aging things out on the market and what is thrown out to women that getting and looking older is wrong and you shouldn’t. I used to feel this way I had a hard time turn 25 because I was a quarter of a century old. But now I look and think about it and realize I was not old but I was wiser and I am going to welcome every wrinkle and gray hair there is out there that comes my way.

Aging isn’t something that’s bad or something we should try to stop but it is just something that is. With every passing year we have learned something new we have loved and lost and we have grown while it be psychically or spiritually or emotionally. Think about it in the last year what are some things you have at to live through and grow with as a person?

But while I am cool with my ageing and my growing older and I know I will welcome my time to be a crone I do grieve for my children’s childhood going by so quickly. I know it’s how it is supposed to be and I understand that but in the world of today it seems we ask to much of them. So this is going to be my new goal to become cool or fine with the growing up of my children and enjoy their different stages of their life and try to guide them to be a great person.

In the mean time I will boycott anti ageing creams and gels and all that stuff. I will enjoy everyday I am given and find something to learn from it.

So rejoice with me as I grow older and with the new gray hair I found, for it brings wisdom and reminds me all that I have learned.


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It was a great day today!

Well I got some of the many things done that I wanted to get done.  I still need to meditate for the night.  It’s hard to find time to do that with three children.  Miss A is in a growth spurt and is nursing all the time and it would be great if she didn’t try to stand on her head while she did it.  Then my boys are just boys loud and always moving but good boys.  It will be late before I get to meditate for the night but I will get it done maybe I will post about it after I do it.

Today I learned how to make a black mirror for scrying  I might have to try this out.

Also Mr Spirit and I talked about a blessing for the kids so I am going to start writing one up.  It will be one the first things I put in my BoS.  I like that what I am going to place in it is going to have meaning and be written up by me.  The Blessing will be simple and a blend from both our faiths about guiding the children and helping them find their true path neither of us are going to force the children to follow our faiths.

I have been asked in the past how Mr Spirit and I can blend our faiths so well that many that don’t know what our faiths are wouldn’t know that we are a blended faith home.  Well for one we both believe in being good people and giving back and pretty much the golden rule to put it simply.  The holidays well right now it’s just the Mr and the kids and myself so it’s easy to blend them.  My holidays and specials are normally just for me and not a big to do Mr. Spirit will make sure to do something with the kids when I need time for something and I do the same for him when he needs it.

For Christmas I got him a bible everyone thinks this is weird but why wouldn’t I honor his faith it’s a part of him and he honors mine all the time as well.  I would go and sit in church with him every Sunday if he asked, but he doesn’t church isn’t my thing but I think I will start going as he starts looking for his Spiritual home.  It sucks with the military he just hasn’t found that church he feels right with and the one from before he deployed well seems different now.

Today I also started my research into Imbolc or Candlemas  and it’s again something that I haven’t really looked into and I am sure I will be doing something I already have the meal planed for the most part something simple that my children love.   Mr. R is such a picky eater.

Speaking of dinner

Tonight we have pancakes with eggs cooked inside of them it was good we cooked the eggs to over easy and everyone loved it Mr. R ate the most he has in a long time!



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One step down the path

It’s late and it has been a great day with the kids and Mr. Spirit.  And I was able to get in much-needed research.  I have read and read that I just need to step back and think about what I read before I know what is true for me on my path.

I have read about the wonders of child-birth and the stages of the female life.  And think this is defiantly something I will look in to some more.  I knew being a woman was special and powerful and now I am learning how.  I loved being pregnant and would love to have just one more child but if I don’t I will be happy with that.

I know that I will raise my daughter to rejoice with her changing body and not be shamed because she got her period.  I do think that her and I will be using cloth pads it just seems to be the right fit for me and I hope for her.

Tomorrow I hope to research about the spiritual growth in boys/men as well because I have two sons and I can’t leave them standing at the curb.

In an earlier post I talked about a blessing jar that I was going to do for New Years so I thought I would share it with you fine people (if there are any out there that is)

Make a blessing jar:

Into a vase, jar, or bottle (which symbolizes protection), put:

-a small bag of soil (for abundance)
-a coin (for prosperity)
-a fabric bag of salt (for purification)
-a crystal (for vision)
-an arrowhead (for guidance)
-a tiny fabric bag of herbs (for grounding)
-left over candle (for focus)
-a cross (for balance)
-a feather (for freedom)
-a clipping of hair from each family member (for unity)
-an old key (for opportunity)
-a small mirror (for truth)
-a piece of red paper (for memory)
-a small fabric bag of raw rice (for fertility)
-a ring (for love)
-a rune stone (for communication)
-a shell (for choices)
-a small fabric bag of loose tea (for awareness)
-a small folded fan (for healing)
-a rubber band (for flexibility)
-a letter that contains this list and what you hope to accomplish this year, sealed inside an envelope (for happiness)

You need not have everything on this list, select what is important to you.

Seal the jar with the lid, or cover the bottle/vase with a piece of fabric and a rubber band or string. Place your blessing jar either just inside or outside your front door until next New Year’s Eve.

Now I would and a prayer before I sent it out and make sure my intent was on what I was placing in the jar.

I think this is going to be a simple yet powerful thing for me to do.  It’s going to be one of the first magical things I do that isn’t about food. LOL Mr. Spirit doesn’t get it but he is supportive of it so that makes me happy.

I am also hoping to honor the goddess on the full moon that night and just jump in with both feet. I am not sure what I am going to do with the full moon and it’s a blue moon yet but maybe something as simple as a blessing and maybe starting my BoS.  And charging some crystals I don’t know.

The cleansing I was going to do was simple, sadly I live in a bible belt state and in a trailer park so I am careful what I do outside and this is something I can do outside without much problem.  And frankly I like it because it’s simple I think that’s how things should be is simple.

So here is the blessing I am going to do.

Pretty much I am going to go outside and fill a bowl with cool water from the hose and then say

Substance wasted, substance spoiled, now redeemed. Seeing thyself in substance undefiled, forming thyself a new from this frail substance gathered and revived

I am going to do this in the morning and then again in the evening.  I think this will renew my spirit for the new year nicely I might change the words a bit. But I like them I may need to add at least to them, if I do I will share with you guys.

I also plan on sharing what goes in my blessing jar as well.  Mr. Spirit thinks I should leave out the rice well we will see on that one. HeHe

This trip that I am on is almost like starting over because I let it lapse for so long and I hate that I really do.  I let life and depression get in the way and I hope to not let that happen again.  I hope that as I get my Spiritual self back together that it will lead to all the parts of me getting back together and on the right path.  I seem to be able to handle mom mode pretty good but even there I am not being all that I can be and I hate that.

So tomorrow I am making a deal to do one thing more than I normally to declutter (sp) one area of the house and find on object to use in ritual, and I am to do one more thing with each of my children for fun.  And for the spiritual part of me I need to meditate at least 20 minutes tomorrow and focus on that and clearing and centering myself.  This I promise myself and I hope to get done tomorrow.  I know I can do it.  Maybe I will even make a pie tomorrow!

Until tomorrow.


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Quick update 12.27.09

Well things are pretty much back to normal the kids love their toys and a low tech Christmas worked out great! Autumn loves her toys as well. We have some new ideas for what to do next year and we know we only have another year or so with Mr A and Santa and I hope to enjoy them.

Mr R was great though in how happy he was it was great listening to him go Santa came over and over. It was great.

Other than that it’s been nice, I need more sleep but Mr. Spirit is helping a ton. He has cooked and cleaned and wiped butts for me. Man I am lucky.

I have spent time researching all kinds of things. But I have my New Years plans made mostly.

We are going to order Pizza and have root beer floats and movies and games. These are the family plans my spiritual plans are I am going to make a blessing jar for the home for the up coming yearn and do a spiritual cleansing for the new year as well.

Now for the full moon which happens to be a blue moon I don’t know what I am going to yet maybe something simple that is in my everyday life.

My spiritual path is leading me in new places the last few days I have read and learned how wonderful it is to have a period and I should be proud and not ashamed of it. I plan to research this more and pass it on to my daughter. I have also found some blessings I want to do I will post about them once I do them and share how they went.

Also in the last few days i have been talking with other people about astral travel and orbs. I have learned I want to learn more about both and have learned that what I believe when it comes to orbs has brought me closer to a christian friend.

Well that’s about it for now I am sure I will be back later tonight while I don’t have children needing me.


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Christmas Eve Eve

Well that’s what I called the 23rd when I was a child and what my son called it today.  Today is one of those days that’s just right.  Started with a nice warm bath. And a quick trip to town.  I was dreading the trip to town because I thought it would be crazy busy and crazy busy at walmart.  Well it wasn’t made a change to the menu for Christmas as Mr. Spirit was walking by the hams and was like I want on LOL.  So we are having ham.

So then we got home and we played games and popped popcorn and just enjoyed each other.  It was great.  I wish it was cooler because it doesn’t feel like Christmas time out there yet.  And tomorrow looks to be a nice day with a few things that will have to be done.

I have been lazy and not finished wrapping gifts.  And Mr. Spirit needs to run to the PO because they didn’t do their job and try and deliver something.  And later tonight I should be getting the last of the kids gifts from Sears.  I have to say thank you to them again for their gift card program for the military it has been such a blessing this year.  I don’t think I could ask for a better break from the normal grind it’s nice to have Mr.Spirit home.



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Ahh…a normal day

Ahh…back to normal.

Yesterday evening was fun I didn’t do all that I wanted to do for the holiday but we made memories so that was what was important.

We made play dough and boy was it fun but the first batch messy.  We used this recipe, but we used KoolAid instead of food coloring for 2 batches of playdough and they were the ones that turned out the best! The ones we made with food coloring turned out sticky I am hoping once they get some more air and played with they will get better.  If not we will make some more.  I suggest everyone do this with there children.

Also Mr. Spirit and I each read them a story for yule and the oldest loved it.  Mr. R my middle child is just to hyper to sit still through a story.  He went from a quite baby to a wild child LOL.  Miss A well she didn’t care she had a belly ache.

We ended up giving each child a gift for yule because they couldn’t play with the play dough (it needed to cool) and Mr. A got a book Peter Pan.  He is hoping to finish it before going back to school.  Mr R got a doodle thing And Miss A got a book.  I like that these are the books we picked from the as these were gifts that were blessings to us.  The books from Mr. Spirits work and toy was a gift bought with a gift card.  It’s just wonderful.

And yesterday UPS droped off a box from my father and mother, they have went to build a bear and made Miss A a bear on her birthday.  And well this touched me so much that I cried and I am tearing up writing this.  My dad got me a bear and I loved it and it had the same birthday as me.  And the fact he remembers how special this bear is to me (I still have it) and not only got one for my daughter but made her one is just well I don’t have words for it.

So over all while some things I wish I had done I am over all happy with how it went some things will change for next year.

Now that we are back to a semi normal day.  Well as normal as can be with Christmas around the corner. I think I am going to research some about finding my spirit guide.  I have done this research in the past but it’s been years and I have mommy brain and need a refresher. With Mr. Spirit home I am hopeing to get some time to relax and mediate as well.

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Merry Blessed Winter Solstice Everyone


Ahh so the day is here and my plans are set as soon as Mr. Spirit gets back I will be making play dough for the kids and we will color a few pictures for a dear friend of mine. and then I will start dinner. We are having a yummy pork roast and mac and cheese and veggies. Simple I know but that’s how I feel it should be. We are then going to sing some of the yule songs I have posted.

And then I think I will tell the kids about a couple different Yule stories

We have the Yule Fairies and this one.

First Yule

Once upon a time, long long ago, a beautiful young woman lived on a blue and green island. She had many friends on the island, fairies, trees, flowers, rabbits, deer and birds… but she was the only person who lived there.

She wanted to share her friends and her secrets with other people just like her, so she began to give birth. Every month when the moon was hiding, she gave birth. For the first six moons she gave birth to daughters with dark skin and eyes. For the last six moons of the year she gave birth to fair skinned daughters. On the seventh moon of every year the First Mother gave birth to a magical, sacred oak tree.

As the years turned many many daughters were born, and quite a few oak trees as well. The daughters played games with the animals and each other; they climbed in the branches of the oak trees and gathered flowers with the fairies.

One day the firstborn daughter of the First Mother gave birth herself! The First Mother was very proud and happy; her favorite friend Oak tree (who was very wise) gave her a silver crown to wear and told her that she was now a GrandMother!

Soon, many of the daughters gave birth, and the island became an even happier place, full of babies and big girls and Mommies who all played together with the animals the trees and the fairies.

One winter night when the moon was hiding, one of the daughters gave birth to a baby that was different from anything they had ever known. It was not a daughter, it was not even an oak tree, and it was a baby BOY!

It was a very dark cold night, the longest winter’s night of the year, so all the daughters and all the animals were snuggled up together to keep cozy and warm. After their excitement of seeing a brand-new baby born passed, the daughters and the animals realized that the baby boy was not feeling well. He was not as strong or as warm as the babies and trees that were usually born on the island. They all began to worry about the new baby, and tried to help keep him warm. The animals with the furriest coats pushed up close to the Mother and baby, the fairies sprinkled magic dust above him, and the little girls sang wonderful songs and danced around and around the room.

But the baby boy couldn’t get warm enough and soon he was too cold and tired even to cry or to drink the healing milk from his Mother.

The first Grandmother was so afraid for the baby boy! She tried to hide her tears from her daughters and ran out into the forest. The snow was very deep and full of white glitter, She tried to walk, but it was just too deep. So her friend the owl carried her up above the snow filled clouds, deep into the magic forest where her firstborn, most sacred wise friend Oak lived. The First GrandMother intended to ask Her friend for advice about the baby boy.

When the owl reached the clearing where the Sacred First Oak tree lived, the GrandMother gasped! There was no snow on the ground there, and in the middle of a perfect circle lay her Friend the Oak. The Tree had fallen to the ground and broken into a pile of logs and branches. She rushed to kneel beside the broken tree, and her teardrops turned into sparkling icicles on her cheeks.

While she was trying to understand what had happened to her dear friend, a coyote entered the circle and brushed up beside her. First the coyote kissed her tears dry, and then she whispered a secret in the First GrandMothers ear.

The GrandMother nodded, and with the help of the coyote and the owl She gathered some of the branches from her oldest friend Oak and they returned to her daughter and the baby boy.

Using the gifts from the Oak, and the secrets from the coyote, the GrandMother built the very first fire that anyone on the blue and green island had ever seen!

The fairies were shocked; they had never seen anything dance like that without wings! The animals laughed, they had never seen colors so bright except on springtime flowers. The daughters didn’t know WHAT to do; they had never felt anything as warm as the summer sand on the beach in the middle of winter!

The Mother brought the baby boy close to the edge of the fire, closer than everyone else (they were still just a little bit scared of this new thing called a fire). The baby boy opened his eyes just a little bit, and began to wiggle his fingers. THEN he smiled and moved his toes too. When he was warm enough he snuggled with his Mother and drank her milk, soon every one was certain the baby boy would be okay. They were all so happy they danced around the fire singing their favorite special songs and giving little gifts to the fire.

The baby boy grew up strong and happy because of the gift of the First Oak tree. He had many sons of his own, and taught them all to plant acorns on the 7th dark moon of the year so that there would always be many many Oak trees on the island.

Every winter, on the longest coldest darkest night of the year, all the people who lived on the blue and green island built a very special fire. They brought in a special tree and honored it with shiny ornaments and glittery fairy dust. They picked one very special branch or log and sang their favorite songs while they decorated it. Then they would give this beautiful log to the Fire as a present… and all the children would hear the story of the gift of the First Oak tree.

On the longest night of the year, whenever you light a candle or build a fire, remember the story of the First GrandMother and the coyote who told her the secret. No matter how cold and dark it seems, the Sun will always be reborn and bring us warmth and light again.


I love the above story it’s so sweet and touching all at the same time.

Though this holiday hasn’t gone as planed I am still having some great memories with the children.  I do wish that Mr. Spirit and the kids would take it like they take Christmas.  It’s important to me and they see it as another day. Or Christmas light.  I want it to be special even if they don’t have the faith behind it, it can be fun and full of memories, right?

I am hoping to get some neat sun set pics and maybe then some great sun rise pics.

Here’s to hoping Mr. Spirit gets home soon!

Merry Blessed Winter Solstice,


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9 Years ago today

I can not believe that nine years ago today, my oldest was born.  I was a young mom I didn’t know much and I am shocked at the things I have learned since then.  I really am.  Nine years ago today I work up to my water breaking calling his father and having him come get me to take me to the hospital.  I remember that it.  I was cold and snowing.  Snowing so much that Mr. A’s grandparents came and got his father and I to drive us to the hospital.  I had my over night bag packed and it was pregnancy clothes I thought I would really fit into them after having him.

I know now looking back I knew so very little about child-birth.  Once at the hospital my mother was there and a dear friend Miss J.  Miss J couldn’t stay long and had to head to work but my mom was there for the whole thing and so were Mr. A’s grandparents.

I knew even then though I didn’t know much that I wanted a midwife. To me at that age it seemed to be a magical thing to have someone not a doc but trained to deliver your baby.  To me it was old school it was special and the bonus was that they had the top obgyn in the area that they worked under.

My midwife Mrs. L was great I remember her warmth and her sweetness to this day.  She was there with me through most of it even though she delivered three other babies that day.  She was great with understanding I didn’t want pain meds and never once pushed them.  She got out so many things out for me to try.  I loved the shower and I would have had a water birth if it was for the pit.  But unlike other hospitals (like where I had Mr. R) she let me walk and move as far as the cords would let me. Which was great because laying and sitting hurt.

Another special person who was at the birth of my oldest was my grandmother.  How I love that woman.  She came after work with a love for me to hold when the pain was bad.  She held my hand and told me I was a strong woman and I could do this.  I love her.

So Nine years ago today after 12.5 hours or labor 3 of which was pushing I gave birth to my sweet little boy Mr. A boy was he loved and still is.  He took to nursing like a champ his grandfather who waited outside the door the whole time cried his daddy cried to.  He is still so love.  It might not have been 100% the birth I want now but it was great at the time and one of the best I have had.

So here Nine years later and so much has changed, I am married to Mr. A’s step dad things didn’t work out with his father.  I am living in another state and I have two more beautiful children.

This morning I woke up to my middle child saying we must sign happy birthday to Mr. A we have to mommy.  I love that even though they are nearly 5 years apart in age that they love each other so.  I know that Mr. A came to me at the right time in my life, I know he choose me as a mother and I am blessed to be his mom we have been through some tough times but we have only gotten closer because of it.

Mr. A is nine and already a spiritual child.  He is always asking about religion and God. I don’t know how much is from Mr. A’s bio dad taking him to church or is just from wanting to know.  He loves learning from the book of God (what he calls the bible) and then hearing what I believe and hearing stories I believe to be true.

He looks forward to the Solstice every year and learning what it’s about and what new thing I have learned.  I haven’t had him do any rituals or anything but I do share with him.  I often wonder if he feels the magic this time of the year since he was born so close to the Solstice.  I also wonder what kind of man he will be in 10 years.  I wonder if he will go to college and be one of the many things he wants to be.  I wonder and yet I can wait because these nine have gone by so utterly fast.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!


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Have you ever…

Read a story that you just wish you were a part of?  I just read this story off of   That moved me.  It was a woman’s memory of getting honey and making candles with her great-grandmother and her aunts.  And while reading this story in brought up memories of ice candles that I made at church camp once and how much fun it was.  It also brought up memories of time I have spent with my grandmother.

There were winters of getting the house reading for the holidays and helping her with the trees and helping her cook for the meal.  Helping her cook was no is one of my most favorite memories.

I remember Christmas evenings at her house watching movies on that old floral couch and with the lamps on that really gave room a candle glow.  This story re enforced my beliefs that it’s not the toys that children remember but the time with our families and the little things.

I loved the holidays with my family and just wish and hope that in my time as a mother and a wife I can make those kind of memories for  my family.  I want them to look back and remember smells of family meals being cooked and the simple things we did to make the holiday special. Like the plastic candy garland on grams tree.  Or the tree mom would have to do more than once until she loved it.  Or shopping with my father at the last-minute to pick out gifts and wrap them for him. And loving unwrapping things he wrapped with a ton of tape.  But you see to me it’s not about what was under the wrappings it was the time and love he took to find the right gift and the time he took to wrap them.

I see the world today and I see many that have forgotten the simple things and the little things.  When Mr. A (my oldest) came to me this year and told me that gifts weren’t what we needed for the holidays and that he was just glad that Daddy was home told me that he is learning what these holidays are truly about.

So as Christmas and the Solstice near remember it’s not about the gifts or what’s under the tree but the memories that are made the magic that share and the love. Because with out these they holidays wouldn’t be special.


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